Remember when blogs were described as “online journals”? I do. I’ve been blogging since 2007 and I have gone through as many phases on my blog as I have in my personal life. Remember the peasant skirt phase? How about the side bangs phase? Remember the phase where we only really listened to Train and Regina Spektor? There was the LOST phase (Charlie was my favorite character.) There was a phase when I followed dozens of bloggers, and a phase when I didn’t read blogs at all.
Then there was the beginning of the conference phase. The pages of notes, all the new Facebook friends, the gigantic goals to make Clickety-Clack the best blog ever. Let’s have a little laugh about that, shall we?
In 2007, I was a sophomore in high school. My dreams were to get married at nineteen and to have lots of children. I wanted to marry a farmer (perhaps a wee bit influenced by Ann Voskamp??) and homeschool my brood from a whitewashed house. I think I asked for sheep for Christmas that year. I was learning to cook, wishing I could sew and feeling very “domestical.” In less than two weeks, I’ll be twenty-three. Twenty-two was wonderful, so I’m feeling a bit sentimental about leaving that number behind, but twenty-three is undeniably mysterious. What happens when one is twenty-three? One does not know.
My dreams have changed a lot, but certain things still rise to the surface after stirring, and when they do, they’re meatier every time. I still want to marry, but I’m glad I didn’t get married so young. I would’ve missed so much, at home and in my own mind and heart. I still want to have children, but I know parenting is much more than something you can read in a book. Being a wife and mother will take a lot of prayer and wisdom and requests for counsel, even if I have been doing laundry and cooking and cleaning bathrooms and rocking babies for a decade.
I also still definitely want to write, and I think I want to illustrate, too…but I’m far from proficient in this area. I think it’s good for me to always be a beginner at something, but it does take a toll on my pride! I am still working on my first children’s book, but I also have a lot of resources stowed away for a new, non-fiction book idea I’m really excited about. I think I will always write.
I work every weekday morning in an office, and it’s nice and quiet. I eat peanut butter crackers while I type and sketch, and then spend afternoons at home, with my family. It can be monotonous, but it’s kind of perfect.
2015 has already been so exciting. In two weeks, Simeon will be born and I’ll be holding my nephew for the first time! In about two months, Joey will be married and I’ll have a sister-in-law! I think the summer will be a strange mix of giant changes and slow, steady days.
I’ve actually written a lot lately, but none of it has appeared here. I’m hoping that’s a sign of maturity, and not cowardice. So many posts have flown through my fingers, and then sat there in the drafts. I’m not sure what I should speak to right now, other than my own life. So here’s a little 2007-style blog post, for your reading pleasure.