Do you ever have one of those days in which you wake up and feel like you’ve been put through a pasta maker during the night? You felt fine when you went to bed, but the world turned into a cold, dark place while you slept. Yesterday the sun was cheery. Today it makes you sneeze. Yesterday your family was funny. Today they’re irritating. Yesterday you felt motivated. Today you feel useless.
For (seemingly) no reason at all, you’re having a miserable day, but the biggest issue is, you feel like you have no excuse. In your less foggy moments, you are able to see that today isn’t really all that different from yesterday. It’s the same sun, the same family, the same you. But you have changed. Your perspective is small and murky. Your energy levels are at an all-time low. You don’t want to talk or see people, but in your avoidance of them, you find yourself still blaming others for your unhappiness. They’re so unappreciative/annoying/demanding/loud/insensitive/fill-in-the-blank today. And why aren’t they coming to find you and see if anything is the matter? Why didn’t they invite you to eat lunch with them? But when they do come to find you, you want to be left alone, don’t ya?
Yeah, I have those days too. I try to tell myself that nothing is the matter, so just get over it and on with it already! And yet my day rarely amounts to much when I’ve woken up feeling like sludge. I spent my entire day ping-ponging around from one thing to another, trying to simply achieve something-anything! I spend too much time on the Internet. I beat myself up about how much time I just spent on the Internet. I remind myself that I’m a spoiled, first-world brat. I have a little cry. I eat. I keep eating. I beat myself up about how much I just ate. Rinse and repeat.
It’s usually about halfway through the day that a tiny beam of sunlight comes through the clouds and lands on my mentality and I say to myself, “You know, for some reason or another, I’m having an off day. Blame hormones, blame spiritual warfare, blame the weather or the news or the Obama administration, but no matter the reasoning, I’m bummed today. And that’s okay. Everyone gets bummed sometimes. And when an introverted, sensitive, highly-emotional girl such as myself has a bummed day, there is very little reason to try to salvage the day. It’s like trying to salvage ice cream that’s been dropped on a grate in a hot parking lot. You can try…but it’s pretty close to hopeless.”
There is hope, however, in having the day end in something other than tears. You can, instead of trying to accomplish something, try to rest. Spend time away from people if people just aren’t floating your boat. It’s better to take time to oneself than to force yourself to hang out with people and continually be biting heads off. If you need to vent, write or communicate with someone removed from the situation. If you need to eat-eat! I mean, make good choices if you can, but feed thyself! If you think you need to cry, go up to your room and try to cry. The funny thing is, you probably won’t be able to do it then and you’ll just end up laughing at yourself. Laughing at oneself is a great start to a better day. Do something that doesn’t take a lot out of you. Today I worked on my ever-so-important Favorite Names List. I added some ultra-hippie names (Courage, Amaryllis, Lively…)
Now, this may sound like a major cop-out. “You don’t feel super peppy today and so you decide you can just slack off and do nothing?”
Well, yes…kind of. If you’re a useless puddle of melted ice cream sliding into a hot grate, don’t try to pretend to be anything else. Today I got the week’s menu planned and did a very few other odd things that needed doing, but I didn’t respond to emails and I didn’t clean my room and I didn’t cook, because sometimes it’s okay to “cop-out.” Sometimes you need to give yourself a break and some downtime. Or at least I do.
Now excuse me as I go and watch a movie with my mom and sister. Cinnamon toast and chocolate milk for dinner…